Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back!
by Hokagehime S.E
Summary: ...And you thought the first one was hilarious! S.E. strikes back with more humor, new guests and other random things. Warning: Some OOCness. No flames, or I'll flame you back. Don't take this fic seriously. DISCONTINUED
1. Naruto

Naruto

Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Naruto. If I did...ehehe...anyway I just own me, S.E., Riyo and my donuts!

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**Hiya peoples! It's me, S.E.! I was going to post this waaaay earlier, but I didn't have the time! Gomen ne! I'm so glad people like it so much they want to do a sequel. AND A SEQUEL IT SHALL BE!**

**If you've never read Know Your Stars: Naruto Style, I suggest you do if you want to understand the inside jokes. **

**List after Naruto? I think I'm doing Team Seven first...otherwise, you can suggest a character I've done in the past or a new one :)**

**Warning: Some OOCness. Remember, flame me and I'll flame you back. Please don't take this fic seriously. That is all.**

**Now...the moment you have been waiting for...KNOW YOUR STARS: NARUTO STYLE STRIKES BACK!**

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**The studio was dark and a little cold when the girl came in. She flicked on the lights and smirked. 

_It's been a while_, she thought.

Holding a clipboard with some names on it, she walked up to that hard to pronounce place and

"S.E., it's time," Riyo told the girl.

She nodded seriously and flipped on the microphone, dusting it off.

"Hello folks, it's me, S.E.! Yes, I, the leader of the midget rebellion-_cough_- I meant, announcer, has come back!"

The audience clapped and cheered loudly. Some people even roared.

"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!" S.E. smiled, "And now…Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back!" she loudly announced to the cheering audience.

"Who's the guest?" they asked loudly.

She grinned.

"I have forcefully invited all of our old guests back PLUS! Yes, a plus! I have invited new people!"

They cheered louder.

"Who is today's guest?" they asked.

"My own first guest…Uzumaki Naruto!" S.E. pointed to the door. Out came our favorite blonde.

"You better not humiliate me like last time!" He shouted.

"Wuss."

"I'm not a wuss!"

"SIT!"

Naruto, not wanting to get S.E. angry, sat in the chair.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" S.E. announced.

"I do like ramen!"

"Naruto…he's a big baby and he IS a wuss!"

Naruto was deeply offended.

"I'm twelve! I'm no baby!"

"Yeah…twelve months old…"

"Stop that!"

"No. I don't _feel_ like it."

"Grrrr…."

S.E. was having a kick out of this.

"Naruto…eats old, baggy gym socks for brunch…which isn't breakfast but not lunch either!" S.E. smiled.

"Ewww!"

"I know. Say, do you eat leg warmers too? Did you eat Lee's?"

"I wouldn't eat his if it depended on my life- I mean- you're gross?"

"I know you are."

Silence.

"I hate you."

"Me too."

"You hate yourself?"

"Of course not, you idiot."

"But you-,"

"Naruto…still hates ramen…."

"I DO NOT!"

"We even tried to organize a petition…but it was useless….WHY MUST YOU BE THIS WAY, NARUTO!" S.E. yelled.

"But…I like ramen!"

"Uhuh…sure…."

"But-,"

"No buts. Now you know….the big baby who is a wuss, eats old baggy gym socks and still hates ramen fox boy!"

"That's not true! I still don't know why I'm here!"

"Now you know….Naruto…."

"…grrr…" Naruto left.

"Nice to see you too! Sheesh! Not even a 'ja ne'! RUDE!" S.E. complained.

"Oooh! Donuts!"

* * *

S.E.: I think the sequel will have 30 chapters or more...

Chi: Soo...much...reading...(collapses)

Natasha: Drama queen

Chi: I'M NOT A DRAMA QUEEN!

S.E.: Then why do you have a 'How to be an overly obsessive drama queen' in your hands...?

Chi: Uhmm...it's for me to chew on!

-S.E. and Natasha sweatdrop-


	2. Sasuke

Sasuke

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Napolean Dynamite. If I did, ahahaha...not telling!

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**Sorry about the late update (hey that rhymed!). I have been busy with stupid school and karate and my birthday (BTW, I'm 14! Yay!). So...yeah...**

**I wanted to do Sasuke again, mainly because it's fun to make fun of him. I don't like him, but I AM NOT BASHING HIM! Read the words people.**

**List after Sasuke: I've decided. I'm doing Kakashi's team first, then I'll accept more people. I'm doing Shino after Kakashi's team though, so hah!**

**Warning: Uhh...OOCness. Remember, flame me, and you go burn...buuuuuurn...and don't take this fic seriously! That is all.**

**Oh, BTW (again!) if you look hard enough, you'll see a line that comes from Napolean Dynamite...I couldn't resist...ehehe...**

**I HATE THE DUB NARUTO! GAAAAAH! Sorry, but I really needed to say that. You people agree with me...right?**

**

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**"Yeah! A new paper shredder! Hey, can it shred people too? Huh?" S.E. asked Riyo. 

"It can, but I'm not cleaning it up."

"Aww man…" S.E. pouted.

She then realized she had a job to do, and could shred paper AND people later.

"Welcome! I'm S.E., your murderer, I mean- announcer for Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back! Today's guest is…Uchiha Sasuke!"

Sasuke walked in like he was cool and frowned.

"You're that idiot who said I liked rubber ducks," Sasuke said.

"You're the guy who said I was an idiot."

The two growled at each other.

"Sit down."

"Fine."

Sasuke stuck out a lip while S.E. started to announce.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"I hate you."

"I hate you too."

Silence.

"Sasuke…still likes his rubber ducks…."

"I HATE RUBBER DUCKS!"

"Awww….little Sasuke and his rubber duckie-wuckies….you look so adorable in this picture….what happened to the bundle of sunshine? Now you're….ehehe….I'm not saying anything…." S.E. teased.

Sasuke grabbed the floating photo and gaped.

"Where did you get this?"

"Internet."

"Darn Internet…"

"Sasuke…his head looks like a llama…"

Sasuke looked at his head (in a mirror, of course!).

"My head doesn't look like a llama, you dobe!"

"Hey, fat lard, come get your supper!" S.E. threw down a plate of llama feed and it landed on Sasuke's head.

"I'm going to kill you."

"Sasuke…is actually a professional golfer who has no hands…."

"What? How can-,"

"I don't know. But you golfed your way to the top, and now you've won the 'No Handed Golfer' Award!"

Sasuke thought she was an idiot.

"I'm going to kill you."

"You can't because….Sasuke…he loves his brother!"

The world gasped. Somewhere, Itachi gasped too.

"WHY WOULD I LIKE MY BROTHER WHO KILLED MY CLAN!" Sasuke roared.

S.E. sighed.

"Poor hormonially stressed out boy…you look up to him, and yet you blame him for everything…" S.E shook her head.

Sasuke was about to blow up- both figuratively and literally- but then he stopped.

"Now you know…the llama head shaped boy who still loves rubber duckies, the no handed golfer who loves his brother Uchiha kid…."

Sasuke held up his fist and stomped his way out, but not before S.E. remarked,

"Wait! You didn't eat your llama feed, you fat lard!" S.E. waved the broken dish with llama food on it.

* * *

S.E.: ...I'm bored

Chi: Do something

S.E.: No.

Natasha: Then why'd you say you're bored?

S.E.: -thinks- I don't...I don't know...

-Chi and Natasha do an anime fall-


	3. Sakura

Sakura

Disclaimer: Me don't own Naruto. If I did, it would be so different.

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**Yeah! Two chapters in one day! Yay! Oh and BTW, I got a great idea about a future chapter that someone suggested to me that I make fun of the couples. Want me to do that? Please let me know :)**

**After Sakura: Kakashi, Shino, uhhh...that's all I have so far. Please suggest new people for me. Or at least people I've done in the past. Thank ya!**

**Warning: OOCness. Remember, flame me and I'll flame you back. Don't take this fic seriously.**

**Now...on with the fic!**

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**"Look! I found another person! SHRED!" S.E. jammed the person in the paper/person shredder, and it would have looked cool, but it was censored for all the gory stuff. 

"Stupid censors…huh? Oooh! A Neji/Tenten doll! I wonder how it got here….oh!" S.E. picked up her doll and her microphone at the same time.

"I shall name you…Kari! Anyway, welcome back to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back! I'm your favorite hitman-er- announcer S.E.! Today's guest is…Haruno Sakura!"

S.E. pointed to the door.

"SAKURA!"

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**Five minutes later**

"I'm here!" The pink haired kunoichi walked in.

"If it isn't Miss I-don't-know-the-meaning-of-shut-up. How are you doing?"

"I can't believe I'm here," Sakura sighed, "but Sasuke-kun was here before!"

"I can't believe it's not butter," S.E. said, emotionless.

"Okay?" Sakura raised a brow.

"Have you kissed Naruto yet?" S.E. asked.

"I HATE NARUTO!"

"Sheesh…anyway….know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"If you make fun of my forehead, you will die!"

(Inner Sakura: Hell yeah!)

S.E. shook her head.

"Sakura…her name means muffins…"

"I'm pretty sure it's not muffins. It's cherry blossoms!" Sakura corrected.

(Inner Sakura: Yeah, stupid!)

All of a sudden, our party crasher just so happens to pop up.

"Hi Sakura-chan!" Lee waved and did his 'Good Guy' pose.

"Aiiiiiiiiieeee! Hide me!" Sakura hid behind the chair.

"Lee! Get out!" S.E. ordered.

"No! The power of youth shall prevail!" Lee said, flames literally in his eyes.

"And you and your youth will be shredded in my new paper AND people shredder!" S.E. said.

"Bye, though I don't wish to leave my Sakura-chan here...-,"

"Just leave already!" Sakura and S.E. both said at the same time.

Lee left, while Sakura got back in her chair.

"He's creepy," Sakura muttered.

"Moving on…Sakura…has an insatiable fear of Fruit Loops…"

Sakura nervously laughed.

"I was seven years old!"

"Really?" S.E. asked.

"Yeah!"

(Inner Sakura: How did she find out? Grrrr!)

"Sakura, I have a bowl of Fruit Loops with me, would you like some?" S.E. taunted.

"I'm not afraid of them anymore!"

"Suuuure…and I'm the king of Italy."

"Italy doesn't have a king."

S.E. slapped her head.

"Sakura…has a clone named Sukara who is the exact opposite of her…" S.E. announced.

"I don't have a clone!" Sakura shouted.

(Inner Sakura: Who could possibly have cloned me? I knew that pizza guy was suspicious….)

Bursting through the door, came a green haired, pink eyed girl.

"HIYA! I'M SUKARA!" Sukara shouted as she did a creepy dance.

Sakura twitched her eye, while S.E. laughed.

"Sakura, meet Sukara."

"Aaaagh! She's like Naruto!" Sakura ran from her opposite, Sukara.

"Now you know…the girl whose name means muffins, fears Fruit Loops and has a clone named Sukara…"

"That's not true!" Sakura yelled.

"Hi…Sakura! Wanna play Barbie? Or Polly Pocket?" Sukara laughed high pitched.

(Inner Sakura: Oh my god! Ruuuuuun!)

"I'm out of here!" In fear of her creepy opposite, Sukara, Sakura ran from the Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back studio and was followed-er-stalked by Sukara.

"Talk about stalking…" S.E. noticed, chewing on her donut.

* * *

S.E.: Uhhh...I have money?

Chi: We all do...or do we?

S.E.: Do we?

Natasha: Want some cat food?

Chi: Ewwwwww!

Natasha: More for me -eats cat food-

S.E.: -sigh-


	4. Kakashi

Kakashi

Disclaimer: Dude, I don't own Naruto. If I did, then Sukara would be part of Naruto...(shudder)

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**Yo. I'm going to try to update every day. If I can't, oh well. But I'll try.**

**Thanks for all the ideas and comments! Yay nice people! And you can even ask me if I'll read your fic, and I'll read it :) Just as long as it's not slash. Sorry, but if they weren't meant to be gay...**

**List after Kakashi: Shino, Jiraiya, and uhhh...that's how far I've gotten...ehehe...**

**I'm thinking about making fun of the couples, but I don't know...people can get really, really nasty when other people make fun of their favorite couples...**

**Warning: Kakashi is definitely going to be OOC in this one. I don't know if he is or not, but yeah. Remember, no flaming and please don't take this fic seriously.**

**

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**"I'm Berry Calzone, today's news is that a pink haired girl was found unconscious with five Barbie dolls in her hand and a peppy, hyperactive girl who looks like her opposite dancing the Macarena all around her. That is all," the blonde woman on TV said. 

"Sukara must have worn out Sakura. Muwhahahaha-cough cough- I mean….so sad…." S.E. hugged her doll Kari and her fudge donuts.

"Oh! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back! I'm your executioner-_cough cough_- announcer! Our guest today is Hatake Kakashi!" S.E. shouted.

"Hi."

Kakashi lazily waved his hand as he walked to the chair.

"Do you still fear yellow tape, Kakashi?"

"No. I never have."

"YELLOW TAPE!" S.E. boomed.

"AAAGH- I mean- that's not scary!"

"Riiiight…Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" S.E. began.

"Whatever."

S.E. squinted her eyes and started to begin.

"Kakashi…drinks PediaSure because he's so skinny and needs to eat more…"

"That's what? For kids. I'm a man!" Kakashi said plainly.

"Yeah, a girly man," S.E. giggled.

"Huh?" Kakashi was reading his nasty book.

"Kakashi…likes to dance…-,"

"Of course I do!"

"Ah! I wasn't done you idiot! I said 'Kakashi…likes to dance….while listening to the theme song from the dubbed Naruto…"

Kakashi dropped her jaw. That's a first.

"What…did you say?"

"I know, Kakashi. How could you betray us all by dancing to the theme song of the dubbed! Grrr!"

All of a sudden, the W.H.T.N.D. (We Hate The Naruto Dub) popped up, with the leader with a metal hockey stick in his hands.

"Get him!"

Kakashi was prepared to use his Chidori attack, but S.E. mysteriously stopped the W.H.T.N.D.

"You can get him AFTER I'm done!"

"Awww man."

And they left.

"Kakashi….is actually so old, he's growing gray hair…"

"It's silver. Not gray."

"And Jiraiya's not a pervert."

Silence.

"It's silver. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK IT'S GRAY!" Kakashi blurted out.

S.E. inched away.

"Uhhh….okay…."

Kakashi twitched his eye.

"Kakashi…keeps his eye hidden because he's eye conscious…"

"It's because-,"

"Bla bla bla, gray hair man."

"My hair isn't gray!"

"Now you know…the girly man who drinks PediaSure, dances to the dubbed Naruto theme song (gasp!), is old because he has gray hair and is eye conscious copy-nin!" S.E finished.

Kakashi was suffering a breakdown. Which scared even S.E.

"Uhhh…Kakashi? Are you okay?" She poked the now in feeble position Kakashi.

"Gray hair…gray hair…." He said, scared.

"Uhhhh….Riyo? Get Kakashi to the hospital…or get him another Icha Icha Paradise…I'm going…to get donuts!" S.E. marched off to get donuts, leaving Riyo to do everything else.

* * *

S.E.: I can't wait to do Shino and Jiraiya -thinks of evil ideas- Muwhahahahaha

Lee: -barges in- Aren't you EVER going to do me?

S.E.: -inches away- Uhhh...we'll see...

Lee: Yosh! The power of youth prevails!

S.E.: Don't get your hopes up, boy.

Lee: Awwww man...


	5. Shino

Shino

Disclaimer: If I did own Naruto, Sukara would exist. Thank god she doesn't. Or does she...?

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**I made a mistake last chapter! 'Kakashi dropped her jaw'. It's supposed to be _his_. I'm sorry, it's just it happens...heheh...**

**I'm so happy you guys like this! Don't worry, the Sand Siblings WILL come back, just not right now, okay? Yeah.**

**List after Shino: Jiraiya, Neji, Shikamaru. I'm not going to list out EVERYBODY b/c it could change. But those are the next three :)**

**Warning: Some OOCness. Remember, no flaming. I don't like flames. And please don't take this fic seriously.**

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**"This is Bob Michaels of the W.H.T.N.D. and we wanted to thank you for letting people know about the tragedy that struck the nation," Bob's voice called on S.E.'s answering machine. She was underground, in her secret lair of doom! _Cough cough_- secret lair that isn't full of doom! Yeah sure, let's go with that. 

"I know!" S.E. agreed to herself as she grabbed another sprinkly donut and hugged Kari.

"S.E., as much as I love hearing Bob's voice repeated over and over again, you have a job," Riyo sighed.

"Fine," S.E. pouted and went back to the hard to pronounce place that was in her studio.

She pulled out the microphone and yelled,

"Hi! Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back! I'm S.E., the eradicator of evil- I mean- announcer! Today's guest is….Aburame Shino!"

S.E. waited exactly thirty seven seconds for Shino to arrive.

"YOU ARE LAAAAAAAAAATE!" S.E. shouted.

Shino just fixed his sunglasses.

"Don't use that sort of tone with me, mister!" S.E. wagged her finger.

"…."

"SIT!"

He sat.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"You're not going to act like an idiot, are you?"

S.E. dropped her jaw. That was a long sentence for Shino, and she hadn't even made fun of him yet.

"Whoa…"

"…"

"Shino…is a Cyclops."

"…"

"ONE EYE! Hahahaha!" S.E. fell of her chair and rolled on the floor.

"…" Shino shook his head.

"Shino…thinks that washing old people…is fun," S.E. said.

"……..I do not."

"Whoa! Shino! You're actually talking today! It's a miracle!"

"…."

Then right when everything was good, Lee just _happened_ to pop up.

"Hi!" Lee youthfully said.

"Uhh….Aaagh!" S.E. hid under her desk.

"…." Shino said.

"Fine, I'll leave," Lee, somehow persuaded by Shino's silent words, left.

"What? Wait a minute, how can HE do that? I'm on to you Shino!" S.E. pointed.

Shino sneezed.

"Shino…wears deodorant that is bug repellent…" S.E. added.

"I don't."

"Really? Look! There's three dead bees right there!" S.E. noticed three dead bees on the ground near Shino.

He looked down.

"Karabi? Sosoho? Cuimi? Nooo!" Shino picked up the dead bees and put them in his pocket.

"You actually name them?..." S.E. was officially weirded out now.

"I hate you."

"Uhh…what are you going to do with those bugs? Aieeeeeee!"

* * *

We interupt this program to bring you a special news bulletion: Hatake Kakashi has been contained in the hospital for using excessive hair color products. That is all.

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"Aiyiyiyiyi….Shino….is very clear about what he wants…" S.E. had a black eye.

"…" If noticed closely, Shino was smiling.

"Now you know…the Cyclops, the person who thinks washing old people is fun and wears bug repellent-deodorant…whoa…" S.E. now had an ice pack on her eye.

Just about when Shino was going off to the nearest insect burial service, an old man in a tub dropped through the ceiling and said,

"Heeey! Wash me! It's fuuuuun!" He was in a towel and had out a scrubby brush.

S.E. sweatdropped.

"SHIIIIIIIINO!"

It was too late. Shino was gone. We all know he magically used his bugs to drop an old man through the ceiling.

"Wash me!"

"No way! Not on your life, old man," S.E. crossed her arms.

* * *

S.E.: Good times...good times...-remembers the old times-

Chi: Oh no...!

Natasha: What?

Chi: I...I...I...I...

S.E.: Spit it out!

Chi: I...I...like the letter I...

-S.E. bangs head against wall-


	6. Jiraiya

Jiraiya

Disclaimer: -gets uncomfortable stares- Fine!I don't own Naruto! See, now you can't say I DIDN'T include the disclaimer, right...right?

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**Because of stupid school, and other major setbacks, I was going to load this yesterday, but alas! I could not! Whoa. I've got to stop reading Shakespeare...**

**Please, if you have any ideas -cough cough torments- or old/new guests, let me know so I can work it into my 'guest list' (we all know it's not REALLY a guest list...mwuhahaha)**

**List after Jiraiya: Neji, Shikamaru, Kiba. Heheh. My favorites. Can't wait to torture-ahem- _talk_ to them...ehehe**

**Warning: Jiraiya might be a bit OOC in this, but then again, mostly everybody is OOC. Remember, no flames and we'll get along like peas and carrots! (I've got to stop watching Forrest Gump too...)**

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**"And don't come back!" S.E threw the old man into the busy street-and lived, unfortunately for S.E. - and went to the elderly retirement center that was conveniently placed next to a funeral service that was also for insect burial. 

"Gosh darn it. Shino will pay….MWUAHAHAHAHA-_hack hack cough_- I need a lozenge…" S.E. walked back to the studio, walked up the stairs to the hard to pronounce place and picked up her microphone and said,

"Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back! I'm S.E., your lovely villainess- I mean! - low paid announcer! Today's guest is Jiraiya!"

Jiraiya walked in and yelled,

"HEY! YOU THREW MY COUSIN IN THE ROAD!"

"So? He's your cousin?" S.E. placed a finger on her lip.

"Yes."

"He lived though."

"Oh."

Jiraiya sat in the chair.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"I'm not gay!"

"Uhuh…sure, whatever. Jiraiya…stuffs popcorn chicken in his head…"

"No I don't! And I know you're a girl!"

"Hey, Popcorn Chicken Head, what's it like to be gay AND meaty? Whoa, that didn't come out right…" She scratched her head.

Awkward silence.

"You are a girl!"

"Because it's you, Jiraiya, I'm not responding."

More awkward silence.

"Jiraiya…doesn't know if he's a boy or a girl…"

"I'm a man! A manly man!" Jiraiya said.

S.E. stepped away.

"You're creepy."

"What?"

"Wait! If you're neither boy OR girl…whoa! Jiraiya…he's bisexual!"

He could have died.

"I just like women!" Jiraiya mumbled something else under his breath, something about hot, naked girls. Eww.

"Wait until everybody in the Naruto world finds out you're bisexual! WHOA! I can see it now!"

_**JIRAIYA: BOY OR GIRL? THE STORY OF THE BISEXUAL PERVERTED SANNIN**_

S.E. imagined.

"Uhh…I could see that," Jiraiya said, pointing to the screen.

"Huh? Oh! You can see?"

Jiraiya growled.

"Jiraiya…is so old, he can't see!"

"I can too see! How else am I to do my 'data gathering'?"

S.E. sweat dropped.

"Riiiight…you're hallucinating, old man. Blindly, of course."

"I hate you!"

"Hmph. Meanie!" S.E. cried in chibi form.

"…"

"Now you know…the popcorn chicken head, doesn't if he's a boy or girl, is bisexual, and is blind...the perverted hermit!" S.E. cheered in chibi form.

"I don't have popcorn chicken in my head!"

"That must be why you don't have a brain…" S.E. thought aloud.

"What!"

"Hey, I see your cousin trying to cross the road again…uh oh this doesn't look good…" S.E. looked out the door.

"I'm a gonna get a back wash! Yahoo! Chaaaaaaarge!" The old guy who was STILL in the tub somehow managed to cross the road.

"BOB! NOOO!" Jiraiya pushed S.E. out the way and tried to stop Bob from getting hit by a car.

"Hmm…glad I'm not him! Come on, Kari, let's go eat donuts!" S.E. hugged her Neji/Tenten plush doll and skipped back inside, leaving a whole lot of questions unanswered like, will Bob make it out alive? Will Jiraiya figure out his gender and why did S.E. skip?

* * *

S.E.: Uhhh...I got nothing. 

Natasha: Me neither.

Chi: Go fish!

S.E.: Huh?

Natasha: We're playing Old Maid, you idiot.

Chi: -sweat drops and nervous smile- Eheh...I knew that.


	7. Neji

Neji

Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Naruto. Just me, S.E., Riyo, Kari and...uhh...that's it. I do not own Star Wars either.

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**I am SO sorry I took longer than usual. I've been super busy and I've had writers block and my computer didn't work for a while (Microsoft Word was being a pain in the butt). So...gomen nasai!**

**However, I'm in a good mood, and I thank ya people for reviewing :)**

**If you have any ideas for old/new characters or tortures-er- I mean- _questions_, let me know and I'll try to work it in :) If you ask (nicely) for me to read your fic, I will :)**

**List after Neji: Shikamaru, Kiba and then...I don't know :P Maybe I can start the Sand Siblings trilogy after Kiba (Haha. You gotta love Gaara the princess and Kankurou the Citrus Breath! And don't worry, Temari is still 'pregnant')**

**Will we find out what Tenten made Neji wear? Who knows...**

**Warning: Slight OOCness. Remember, no flaming! And please don't take this fic seriously!**

**

* * *

**S.E. was fiddling with dominoes, setting them up and whacking them down with a metal baseball bat. 

"Woohoo! Extreme Dominoes! Isn't this fun, Kari?" S.E. laughed as she held her Neji/Tenten doll and was happily chewing on a donut. S.E. was in a very good mood, and that was…well….good.

"Bad news, S.E. Jiraiya's cousin, Bob, he died yesterday," Riyo was wearing all black.

"The crazy guy who was obsessed with being washed?"

"Yeah."

"Ah well. HIS FAULT!" S.E shouted and dismissed Riyo.

"Got to go back to my job, sorry dominoes! Anyway…welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back! I'm S.E., your torturer, er…I mean announcer! Today's guest is one of my personal favorites…Hyuuga Neji!"

Neji was prompt and walked in quietly.

"If you call me gay.."

"Neji, what did Tenten make you wear?"

Neji had on a pouty face.

"I'm not telling!" Neji said, standoffish.

"Shuttup, I'll find out anyway. SIT!"

The Hyuuga, having nothing else to do except collect more pictures of Tenten-I mean- nothing else on his agenda, the Hyuuga sat down.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…" S.E. began.

"Hmph."

"Neji…stole some of Lee's green spandex suits so he could impress Tenten by wearing them since he thinks Tenten digs Lee…"

"WHAT?" Neji's face was in a WTF look.

"Ewww…how long have you had them?" S.E. asked.

"I didn't steal any of my crazed team mate's clothing! That's gross! And Tenten doesn't 'dig' anyone, especially not Lee!" Neji stomped his foot.

"Looks like someone didn't have a nappy-wappy," S.E. wagged her finger.

"I don't have time to take a nap," Neji said, coldly.

"Oh really?" S.E. raised a brow.

"Yes, really."

"Riiight. Anyway. Neji…has a collection of Barbie dolls in his closet…"

"They were Hanabi's!"

O.O That was what S.E.'s face looked like.

"Hah! This could be used as GREAT blackmail!" S.E. shouted, punching the air.

"They forced me to put all of her Barbie dolls in my closet! The Main House is a-,"

"Please Neji, spare me the speech."

"Hn."

"Neji…his Main House speeches are a load of crap and the longest one recorded lasted for one hundred and sixty nine minutes…"

"My speeches are NOT garbage! They are about how the Main House MUST be brought down and overthrown and…" Neji went on…and on….and on….and on…

Meanwhile, S.E. fell asleep and was now drooling and snoring AT THE SAME TIME!

* * *

2 Hours Later

"And that's why the Main House must be brought down."

S.E. was snoring loudly and then she stirred awake.

"Huh? Oh…I had a GOOD nap, unlike SOME people," S.E. yawned.

"What? You fell asleep!"

"See what I mean? WE GET IT AFTER THE TENTH TIME!" S.E. loudly explained.

"Hn." Neji said.

"Neji…he actually Luke Skywalker's father…"

"Who is this Luke that you speak of? I've never heard anyone named that and- I'm not a father of anyone!" Neji said, shocked.

"Yes you are. Luke Skywalker is your son. Who's the mom? Unless….oh god!" S.E. almost fainted.

"WHAT?" Neji roared. He understood what I meant.

"Wait until Tenten finds out!" S.E. said.

"You idiot!"

"Now you know…the green spandex stealing, never taking naps, has Hanabi's collection of Barbie dolls in his closet, whose speeches are a load of crap, his longest speech was one hundred and sixty nine minutes long, and is, in fact, the father of Luke Skywalker…whoa…that was a mouthful," S.E. took in a deep breath as she grabbed another donut.

"I'm not the father of anyone! That's wrong! Come down here!" Neji activated his Byakugen but it didn't help him.

"The hard to pronounce place is Byakugen-proof, so HAH!" S.E. laughed maniacally.

"I hate you."

"Luke…Neji is your father…" S.E. used her voice changer to sound like Darth Vader…er…Darth Neji.

"…" Neji said.

"Now you know…Hyuuga Neji aka Darth Neji…"

"Darth Neji isn't my name! I'm leaving!" Neji walked coolly out the studio, then followed by the mob of the We Love Hyuuga Neji Fan Club aka WLHNFC.

"Ehehe…" S.E. snickered as she returned back to Extreme Dominoes and eating donuts.

* * *

At Rock Lee's House: 

Lee was happily (and might I note youthfully) organizing his closet, when he noticed that his Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday green spandex suits were missing. And today was Sunday.

"Hey, who took my green spandex suits? Oh no! I've failed Gai-sensei! NOOOOOOOO!" Lee cried out.

* * *

S.E.: The moment we've all been waiting for...-drumroll- What DID Tenten make Neji wear? 

Neji: You're not getting out of me!

Tenten: But you looked adorable in it!

Neji: I hated it.

S.E.: What was it?

Tenten: It was...

S.E.: Yes? Yes? YES!

-Tenten's mouth is covered by Neji's hand and they leave-

S.E.: Gosh darn it. I guess I'll have to use blackmail -has pictures of Neji playing with Hanabi's Barbie dolls-


	8. Shikamaru

Shikamaru

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Just S.E., Riyo and the new girl E.S.

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**Must...try...to update quickly. I've been busy and can't update as fast as I want to. **

**Thank you people for the reviews. I'm so happy! SQUEEE!**

**List after Shikamaru: Kiba, then Gaara, Kankurou and Temari. Unless you want to suggest someone else.**

**I have nothing else to say.**

**Warning: Some OOCness. Remember, no flaming. And please don't take this fic seriously.**

**

* * *

**"I got good news!" Riyo came up to S.E. in the hard to pronounce place. 

"Yeah?" S.E. was playing with Kari and constantly stuffing sprinkled donuts in her mouth.

"Good news is, I have an assistant!" Riyo gave S.E. a blinding grin.

"Don't do that. It reminds me of Gai," S.E. said, sweat dropping.

"Here she is!"

"SHE!" S.E. could have died.

There was a silence, and then, a girl a bit older than S.E. appeared. Her black hair was in a ponytail, her light red eyes shone bright like rubies and- (pretty music stops)

"WHOA! HOLD UP! Riyo, you know there can't be other girls on the show! Besides me, of course!" S.E. pouted.

Riyo sighed and lead the girl away and then S.E. started her show.

"Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back! I'm S.E., your jealous hostess-I mean!- announcer! Today's guest is Nara Shikamaru, aka the Guy Who Doesn't Know the Alphabet!" S.E. cheerily grinned.

"I DO TOO KNOW THE ALPHABET, WOMAN!" Shikamaru came in, shouting.

"MY NAME IS S.E.! NOT WOMAAAAAAAN!" S.E. and Shikamaru were now engaged in a shouting fight.

"Troublesome woman."

"SIT! OR DIE!"

"I stopped yelling, because it was too troublesome."

"Oh. SIT!"

Shikamaru sat in the little chair of doom-err- little chair of happiness.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"HI S.E.!" A blur of green spandex came crashing through the second story window.

"Aaaagh! It's the Green Spandex Blur Show Stopper! YOU CAN'T STOP MY SHOW!" S.E. aimed for the guy with her pointy donuts.

"No! It's me, the Youthful Green Beast of Konoha!" Lee grinned so brightly it almost blinded Shikamaru.

"My eyes!" Shikamaru said.

"Lee, get out! I'm supposed to be scaring the guests!" S.E. whacked him with a broom.

"Aww…you don't have to be that way," Lee sadly walked/slouched to the exit, and the Emergency Second Story Window Fixers promptly arrived to fix the broken window.

"Anyway…Shikamaru…is the infamous toilet paper thief…"

Shikamaru raised a brow.

"Why would I steal something as troublesome as toilet paper?" Shikamaru asked.

"Ewww! You don't use toilet paper?" S.E. sprayed air freshener around him. It smelled like donuts.

"I didn't mean that, woman!" Shikamaru said, livid.

"It's S.E.! S and E!"

"Whatever."

"Shikamaru…is actually my best friend…"

"I'm not your best friend! My best friend is Chouji!"

"C'mon, let's do fun best friend things!"

"I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND, WOMAN!"

"But…" S.E. started to cry.

"Waaaaah!" S.E. turned into chibi form and started to cry like a baby. Which lasted about…seven seconds.

"Okay, I feel better! Back to the torturing! Shikamaru…is the leader of the Mole people…hey, can I visit them? After all, I'm your friend!"

"Mole people? They don't exist. And you're not my best friend!" Shikamaru lazily shouted.

"Oh no! Shikamaru is a Mole people dictator! Call the police! Call the president! Call the closest donut shop!" S.E. over reacted.

Shikamaru inched away.

"You're not going anywhere, you ex boyfriend of a pineapple!" S.E. yanked him back.

"Darn."

"Heheh. Now you know…the infamous toilet thief who is my best friend and the dictator of the Mole people…poor, poor Mole people. And he's also the ex boyfriend of Squigglemustard Van Hoozerdoozer, the pineapple."

"I'm no dictator! And I'm not your best friend! I don't steal toilet paper either!"

"Tell it to the judge!"

"What?" Shikamaru asked.

S.E. ignored the Nara as she started to play with Kari.

"Lalala, I can't hear you!"

"I'm leaving!"

"Now you know…Shikamaru…"

"It's not true! I'm getting a smart lawyer!"

"Oh, I forgot, you're stupid. Need help on finding a law firm?" S.E. asked.

"I'm fine, woman."

"S.E.!"

Shikamaru left lazily and headed to the nearest law firm.

S.E. returned to Riyo.

"Who is she?"

"She's my assistant, E.S."

"WHAT? Her name is exactly like mine, but backwards!" S.E. gritted her teeth.

"Hello S.E.-san, I hope I didn't cause any trouble," E.S. showed up and was wearing a light PINK dress. Eww. Pink.

"AAAGH! NO PINK!" S.E. shut out Riyo and E.S. and glued the door shut.

"Yes Kari, maybe that wasn't a smart idea, but at least I have you and donuts!" S.E. laughed as she started to eat donuts.

* * *

S.E.: I hate lawyers

Chi: Me too.

Natasha: Chi...you don't even know what a lawyer is

Chi: Yes I do! They're the guys that created post it notes!

-S.E. and Natasha sweat drop-


	9. Kiba

Kiba

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. I just own me, S.E., Riyo, Kari and anything else

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**Gomen nasai! I took longer than I should have -sad face- I just had a really busy schedule and since today's Yom Kippur and that equals services, I couldn't do it any earlier. So, I'm uber-sorry for taking sooooo long. That, and I've had major writers block (grrrrrr)**

**List after Kiba: The Sand Siblings comeback! Yeah! Gaara, Kankurou and then Temari. After Temari...uhhh...maybe I'll do Ino or Itachi again -thinks of evil things-**

**Yeah, just remember: I'm open to any ideas, suggestions, NICE criticism. I'm a nice person -smile-**

**Warning: Some OOCness. Mentionings of Yu-Gi-Oh GX, yamis and other crap. Remember, no flames and don't take this fic seriously. Thank you.**

**

* * *

**"Hey, S.E., where's E.S.?" Riyo asked S.E. 

S.E. nervously laughed.

"She certainly isn't dead."

"What?"

"Err…eheh…"

* * *

_Earlier that day…_

"Welcome to Know Your Stars: Naruto Style Strikes Back! I'm S.E., your infamous hostess! Today's guest is another of our personal favorites, the turkey sandwich, Inuzuka Kiba!"

"I'm not a turkey sandwich!" Kiba shouted, walking into the studio of doom-err- studio filled with bunnies and smiling flowers.

"Uhuh, right, Turkey. Say, how's George?"

Kiba frowned.

"Fine, fine, sit down."

Kiba sat in the chair.

"Know your stars, know your stars, know your stars…"

"I'm not a turkey sandwich!"

"Kiba…he's actually a cat person…"

Ouch. Insult. Some 'oooooohs' were heard.

"I hate cats!"

"But…how could you hate cats?" S.E. said/asked loudly.

"Is my name Nekozuka Kiba?"

"Maybe," S.E. fiddled with her fingers.

"Akamaru isn't a cat!"

"Uhuh. Whatever, Nekozuka. Kiba….watches Yu-Gi-Oh GX!"

Kiba cocked his head to the side.

"What's a 'Yu-Gi-Oh GX'? Is it dog food?"

S.E. slapped her head.

"Poor Nekozuka…"

"What did you say?"

"Nothing!"

"…."

"Kiba….thinks he has an yami named Abik, which is, in fact, Kiba backwards."

"I don't have a yami- Mwuhahahaha, I, Abik, am finally free of this flea bitten cage!- I'm not a flea bitten cage, take that back!-Gahahahaha- ooh, a speck of dirt!" Kiba randomly picked up a speck of dirt.

"Poor Kiba-er- Abik…"

"I don't have a yami- Oh shut up Kiba, yes you do!"

S.E. stepped away from Kiba.

"I'm afraid….veeeery afraid…."

Kiba and Abik kept on bickering and S.E., to save money on studio insurance, decided to end it earlier than expected.

"Now you know…the cat person who watches Yu-Gi-Oh GX and has ayami named Abik dog-er- cat boy."

"I'm not a cat person- Hell yeah I'm not!" Kiba said, Akamaru barking in agreement.

"Now you know…Inuzuka Kiba! Free donuts for everyone!" S.E. threw them out the window.

"Ehmagaw! My eye! My spleen! My fifty-three hundred dollar hair! Ahhh!" came the familiar voice that S.E. didn't like.

"Who was that?" Kiba asked, noticing the ruckus.

"Uhhh…none of your business, Nekozuka!"

"I'm not a cat person- Yesssssss, they are EEEEVIL!" Abik took control of Kiba for….six seconds.

After shoving Kiba-er- Abik out the door along with Akamaru's newly discovered dark side, Uramaka, S.E. looked outside. There lay E.S., in a current state of near-death.

"Yayness!"

S.E. covered the girl up with dirt and chicken feed and put a sign saying:

"This is what happens when you mess with me.

S.E."

She sniggered evilly as she headed back inside the studio, planning more evil things with Kari and her donuts.

* * *

S.E.: Yay! Lee hasn't appeared out of nowhere yet!

Lee: That's cuz I'm planning to do something evil!

S.E.: Evil? You? When have you been evil?

Lee: Ever since Neji stole my Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday green spandex suits.

S.E.: -sweatdrops- Hadn't thought of that...

Will Lee REALLY do something evil to the show? Will S.E. stop him? Why am I asking rhetorical questions to people? We'll find out next time on...KNOW YOUR STARS: NARUTO STYLE STRIKES BACK!


	10. Gaara

Chapter Ten: Gaara

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Just S.E., Riyo and Kari.**

**

* * *

**

**Whoa. No really, whoa. It's been...like...half a year since I updated! Not kidding! I'm really, really, really sorry! First it was the groundings and the writers block...Don't be mad!**

**Look! It's the Gaara chapter! Yeah!**

**After Gaara: Temari, Kankurou, Ino. If you want me to do a character, let me know! I'm open for anything! Except lawyers!**

**Remember, no flames and don't take this fic seriously.**

**

* * *

**S.E. was sitting on the floor, playing Chinese checkers with Kari, her Neji/Tenten doll. 

"Yay! I'm winning!"

"Uhh…S.E., Princess Gaara is back…" Riyo yelled to S.E. using a megaphone.

"'kay!"

S.E. started getting ready.

* * *

"Gaara, I'm not pregnant!" Temari yelled. 

"Yell at me, and you die. Yelling's bad for the baby. It says so in this _How To Be Not Aggressive When Your Teen Sister Has A Baby_ book," Gaara flashed the book in Temari's face.

"Hey, Gaara, there's a killing spree mall in that odd, studio place that brings back humiliation for me…" Kankurou said out of nowhere.

"Killing spree? Whoa. You stay here or I'll kill you."

Gaara ran to the KYS studio disguised as a killing spree mall.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! GOTCHA!" S.E. dropped a net on Gaara.

"What the…you! You're the girl who called me a princess!" Gaara said.

"Maybe I am….maybe I am…oh what the heck, I am!" S.E. winked and dragged Gaara to a chair, tied him and went up to the hard to pronounce place to start the torture-er- _talk_.

"Welcome one and all! I'm S.E., your favorite executioner -er- announcer and this….this is Princess Gaara of the Sand! Yeah!" S.E. announced.

"I'm not a girl! Or a princess!"

"Yeah right. So….how has being a princess been?"

"….I'll kill you…"

"Bla bla bla…Gaara…is in love…with sushi…"

"Hunh? SUSHI! I love death! Not sushi!"

"Princesses don't love sushi? That's unheard of! Everybody loves sushi!" S.E. threw sushi in the air.

"I don't."

S.E. raised her brow.

"Gaara…wants to name Temari's baby Suzy…"

"Umm…I heard it was a guy…and- DON'T CATCH ME OFFGUARD!" Gaara roared.

"Sheesh, I can see why Temari hates the name Suzy…"

Gaara growled.

"I DON'T WANT TO NAME HER BABY SUZY!"

S.E. shook her head.

"First it's Suzy…what will be next?" she asked to the audience.

Murmur. Murmur.

Gaara wasn't usually like this. He could have had her squished by the sand demon's sand. What was happening?

"Oh Gaara, forgot to tell ya this: This is a sand demon-proof studio! I just installed it last night! Of course, it did cost me big bucks, but who cares!" S.E. grinned.

_Of course! I should have known…hmmm_, angrily thought Gaara.

"Gaara…the only reason he carries his gourd around is because he's trying to make a fashion statement…Gaara, nobody wants to put a load on their back for the sake of fashion," S.E. shook her head.

"I don't do this for a fashion statement. I could…really…care less," he said, bubbling with irritation.

"Uh huh. Good luck with that. That's a fashion faux pas if you ask me. Or Ino. She might know too," she said, quickly adding Ino in her sentence.

"I hate you. Once my sister's baby is born, I will eliminate you once and for all!"

S.E. shook her head. Only she knew the truth about Temari's 'baby'.

"Now you know the princess who loves sushi and wants to name Temari's baby Suzy AND is trying to make a fashion statement sand demon…er…guy who has Shukaku inside him…yeah, let's go with that," S.E. said, catching her breath.

"Nothing about what you said is true! I will make sure you eat those words…in death," he said, deadly.

"Eat my words? That's impossible!" she laughed.

"I'm leaving. Temari has to go to a Lamaze class and I have to force her to go," he said, still a bit humiliated.

"_Vogue_ will never call you! Gourds are out of style! I should know!" she yelled after him.

"That idiot," Gaara muttered under his breath, shoving away his bad memories of being humiliated at the Know Your Stars studio.

"Is he REALLY shoving away his memories? This is too dramatic!" S.E. rolled her eyes at what Gaara was doing and continued to eat more doughnuts.

"Oooh! Crullers!"

* * *

S.E.: Heheh...another show where Lee didn't show up.

Chi: I kinda miss his random poppings and craziness

Natasha: He must really be planning something BIG to not appear for a while.

S.E.: But what...?


	11. Temari

Chapter Eleven: Temari

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Just S.E., Riyo and Kari.

* * *

**Hey, took me awhile but I finally finished Temari's chapter!**

**After Temari: Kankurou, Ino...hmm...maybe Tenten...I don't know.**

**Remember, no flames and don't take this fic seriously :)**

**

* * *

**"Hey, S.E., you're running out of crullers," Riyo said, alerting her. 

"What! I thought I had a lifetime supply!" she roared at her assistant.

"There are two possible reasons: One, you're at the end of your lifetime or two, you've eaten the lifetime supply," he said, explaining.

"Whatever, I'm not dead yet. C'mon, let's start the stupid show," she said, going up to that hard to pronounce place and Riyo turning off some of the lights.

"Hey! Welcome to Know Your Stars Naruto Style Strikes Back! I'm your malevolent announcer-er- just ordinary, plain announcer. Today's guest is none other thaaaaan….Temari!"

Temari walked in, fuming.

"YOU IDIOT! NOW YOU MADE EVERYBODY THINK I'M PREGNANT!" she roared. It literally blew away S.E.'s mind. No wait, it had already been blown away.

"Hah, that's probably my best one yet! Gahaha! Sit down, you soon to be mother," she said, still snickering.

Temari sat down without a word, letting her actions do the talking.

"If this place wasn't Shukaku-proof Gaara would've had you dead!" she said.

"Hmm…would it?"

"Huh?"

"Nevermind. Temari…is one month away from her baby boy being born…yeesh, the months go by so quickly," S.E. said.

"I'm not pregnant! Get that through to your thick skull!" Temari growled.

"Temari, Temari, Temari. Haven't you read _How to Not Be Aggressive When You Have a Baby_, the sequel to _How to Not Be Aggressive when Your Teen Sister Has A Baby_? You're going to live a dysfunctional life," S.E said, holding out both books that fell and landed on Temari's foot.

"Ouch! These books hurt!"

"Yeah. Learning is painful."

Temari rolled her eyes.

"Temari…has three eyes and six squid legs…blech!" S.E. faked vomiting.

"No I don't! That's disgusting! Almost as sick as you saying I have a baby!"

"Yep, and your baby will look just like you…ick…" S.E. stuck out her tongue.

"Shut up!"

"Mood swings are normal for a mother-to-be. Dr. Pamlowsky said so. Yay docters!" S.E. cheered.

"Hmph."

"Okay. Anway, Temari…she and Gaara and Kankurou both live in a yellow submarine…we all live in a yellow submarine!" S.E started sing that Beatles song while Temari got annoyed even more.

"What's a submarine?" she asked.

S.E. shrugged. She couldn't be blamed.

"Oh, you know. In the future, people are an endangered species and live in ugly and tacky submarines. You and your brothers happen to live in a YELLOW one."

Temari raised a brow.

"Liar. I'm not stupid."

_Crap!_

"Umm…let's not talk about futuristic stuff. Umm…you have a baby!" S.E. resorted to that.

"I don't!"

"Temari…her baby a boy! Gaara wants to name it Suzy."

"Suzy? Isn't that a girl's name?"

"I don't know," S.E. stated. Temari sweatdropped.

"Oh, and Gaara says he's gonna kill you soon. He didn't say when but he says run and hide," Temari stated.

S.E. rolled her eyes. Little did Gaara know, but S.E. had bought Sand Demon & Co. Shukaku and sand proof barrier shield. Haha.

"Now you know…the girl one month away from her baby being born, the mutant squid that lives in a yellow submarine with Gaara and Kankurou and her baby is a boy…the girl from the Sand…Temari," S.E. said a mouthful.

"I AM NOT PREGNANT! Although I like the baby showers because I get free food and even Gaara pampers me…hmm…" Temari loved the idea of Gaara bowing down to HER needs instead of being afraid of him.

"Dr. Pamlowsky says you can't take advantage of boys with Shukaku inside them, especially if they are named Gaara, but that's just me," S.E. sighed.

"I'm leaving!" Temari yelled.

S.E. waved.

"Riyo, I want more donut holes! And make them chocolate with sprinkles!" S.E. ordered her assistant.

"On it," sighed Riyo.

"Life is good," she murmured, holding Kari.

* * *

S.E.: Neh, I'm bored.

Chi: I like pie...

Natasha: I hate pie.

Chi: Well, you are a cat so it's obvious you don't like pie.

S.E.: You knew that word?

Chi: Umm...maybe...


End file.
